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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25074319">like all those other men</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/danihi/pseuds/danihi'>danihi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rebecca - Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca - Levay/Kunze</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Cheating, Danny has the feels and I guess Rebecca catches some of them, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Like everything that I write this goes without saying, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:00:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,780</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25074319</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/danihi/pseuds/danihi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny confronts Rebecca about the longstanding rift between them; the boat house. Although, she has her reasons, Rebecca goes a step too far.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mrs. Danvers (Rebecca)/Rebecca de Winter, Rebecca de Winter/Mrs Danvers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>like all those other men</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What’s the point, Rebecca?” she said, her voice wavering. “What’s the point of taking all those men—of letting them take you?”</p><p>“What? To bed?” I smiled.</p><p>She turned her head, flinching at my shamelessness. This was often a point of contention in our relationship and it only seemed to worsen as time went on. I knew it meant something to her that I had taken so called “lovers” to bed here and never her—yet it seemed that she did not know that I was sparing her of the dirtiness locked away in this little cabin.</p><p>“I love you, Danny,” I put her hand on her cheek and turned her head towards mine, “but you can’t have all of me.”</p><p>Her eyes widened, and she stepped away from my grasp, “I don’t—that’s not what I meant.”</p><p>“You say that,” I said slowly, “but it is entirely unconvincing when you follow me around with your puppy dog eyes.”</p><p>I saw her visibly tense her body, her shoulders twinged and bunched at her sides.</p><p>I continued, “Yes, you can’t have all of me…” and I took her hand and placed it over my chest; over my heart. “But you can own a bigger part.”</p><p>She met my eyes and I smiled back warmly. I saw her take a deep breath, she swayed a little and it looked as if her legs would buckle from underneath her.</p><p>“Rebecca, that’s—” I kissed her deeply before she could finish.</p><p>When I pulled away, she looked lightheaded, the lines between her eyebrows unknitting themselves. I moved her hand down to cup my breast and I felt heat radiate from her cheeks as I slipped my tongue into her mouth.</p><p>She withdrew from me, both of us panting. She looked deeply into my eyes, I knew mine were sparkling devilishly, the corner of my mouth sliding upwards against my will into a lopsided grin in an unflattering manner. Her eyes darted elsewhere trying to land somewhere that would shield her of whatever power I was inflicting—though, I had little control over what it was that she thought she needed to hide her eyes from. But I suppose the thin fabric of my red robe left little to be imagined as her gaze settled onto her feet.</p><p>I took her chin with my finger, lifting it softly up. She looked about to cry. I bit my lip; I felt some remorse, it was true, but how could I even begin to think of halting everything that had come into motion. I did not love, not even one, of those many men who splayed me out inside this very boathouse. But it was already settled the moment I married Maxim.</p><p>She averted her eyes again, shifting her head and mouth away from me. I went for her neck, planting soft kisses from the bottom of her ears to the part where it met her shoulder, sucking it softly. Her ears bloomed red brilliantly, and her body emitted a heat much stronger than her cheeks. I pushed her thumb, still over my breast, over the bump underneath the fabric, urging her to feel the way my own body responded to hers. I pulled at her dress feeling the urgency build between my legs, but I did not want to do it here.</p><p>“You wanted me, yes?” She nodded slightly. “Then, come, let us go back to Manderley.”</p><p>I pulled at her wrist towards the door, but she would not budge. She was determined to become a “lover” of mine, and I wished out of all the things she could have become stubborn about that this was not one of them. I pulled at her hand stronger this time, her head bowed low, and it forced her to take a few steps forward to keep herself balanced, but I knew she was not going to let this go.</p><p>“Please, Danny, you want to make love to me, and I ask that it not be here, so, in actuality, do you really want to touch me or not?” I said, letting slip of some annoyance in my voice.</p><p>She squeezed my hand tightly. I saw her grit her teeth and she said slowly, “But all of me belongs to you.” She looked up and her eyes were glistening with tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.</p><p>To me, her love was, to put it in a word, emancipation.</p><p>I softened my gaze and caressed her cheek. She turned her head into my palm and nuzzled into it, a tear escaping, running down from her eyes and onto my hand.</p><p>It would be the wings I needed to ascend to heaven if it ever existed—but the truth was, with the life I had already lived searching for control, it was much too late to change the fate I was heading towards. I saw it in Maxim’s eyes, the glint of wrath swirling with jealousy. I heard it in the whispers amongst those who attended my parties, the very ones who enjoyed them. I smelt and tasted it in the bitterness wafting from my morning cup of coffee. God was punishing me, and I felt it throb from somewhere deep in my belly. And more than God, I feared wanting.</p><p>If anything, the act of confessing I wanted her the way she wanted me would then the brilliant façade named Rebecca crumble and it would leave me bare, exposing all the chinks in my impenetrable armour, and with a phrase, with a word, I could come undone. Simply; I was frightened at the possibility of belonging to someone wholly and completely.</p><p>And it was what she asked for—pleaded—in her eyes.</p><p>She grabbed my shoulders all of a sudden and turned me around, pinning me into the sofa. She was panting heavily like that one action was to rage against her very nature, and even I found myself taken aback by her confidence.</p><p>“Rebecca—"</p><p>“Will you fuck me like all those other men,” I said deadly calm.</p><p>Danny practically threw herself off of me, recoiling from the heat of my words. She staggered back, clumsily tripping over her own feet like she had finally snapped back to reality from her sudden outburst. It was funny the way she wanted to be like them and yet hated the mere suggestion of it.</p><p>“Has… Has this all been just a game to you?” she said, her face full of hurt, “Have I…” her voice cracked, and she dared not finished her sentence.</p><p>I blinked and I realised that my own mouth was twisted into a wicked smile. She sagged against the door, now profusely crying, but refusing to make a sound to break the silence that had settled over us. I saw her sobbing rack her body and disturb the air, enough so that I could feel it shudder over mine. Guilt flooded my chest and I grabbed her from the floor and pushed her down into the sofa like she did me. I resented my own words, the way I had been so easily able to stab her without pause for restraint. I kissed her, over and over and over, willing her tears to stop falling. I felt my own well up as she struggled to breathe in between my lips, her body still shaking, which only fueled my shame more.</p><p>I unbuttoned her shirt and murmured softly into her skin as I planted kisses down her chest to the dip between her breast, “Forgive me, please, forgive me.” I took one in my hand and massaged it softly, and the other I licked with my tongue. She pushed her hips up into me as saliva ran down her side. I cursed silently, I didn’t want to do it here, I didn’t want her to become part of the nameless, countless men but her body arched itself into mine and guilt blossomed where I felt her heat. I moved my mouth from breast to her neck again, tracing a path with my tongue all the way there. I shifted my weight and reached down underneath her dress. She moaned as my fingers pulled at her already wet undergarments and louder still as I pushed one inside. My body trembled at her response, the way she began to move her hips against my hand. I wanted so badly for her to do the same with me, I went to reach for my own but stopped, this was her moment. But to climax together, the thought stayed with me and I had to fight back the urge to touch myself as she moaned into my ear.</p><p>“Rebecca…”</p><p>I pushed my hand deeper into her and she winced, her hand instinctively clawing at my back. My pace quickened.</p><p>“Rebecca…” she sighed and pulled at the back of my neck to join our lips into a kiss. Her tongue slipped it’s way into my mouth and again I fought the urge to make her kiss me between my legs. I worked my hand furiously against her and she moved her hips in time with me. She was panting hard now and could hardly focus on keeping her lips still on mine.</p><p>“Rebecca—”</p><p>I felt her body clench around my fingers and her fingers dig into the meat of my back. Her hips bucked onto hand, her back arching perfectly into my stomach, fitting like a puzzle piece into place. She breathed heavily and I waited until her heart had slowed before I removed my hand from her, passing the time pecking small kisses into the side of her head. She looked at me almost tired but nonetheless she sat up and switched our positions easily, readying herself to do me in, but I put a hand to her chest and willed with my eyes that I would not do it here. Instead I pulled in into an embrace and we settled into the sofa. The burning between my own legs shall have to wait some other time for I cradled her in my arms, her head resting on my chest, rising and falling as I breathed. She was so much stronger than I to let me take her all; to watch as I held it in my hands, close my fingers over it and give it a light squeeze. She knew that I could destroy her completely and yet she didn’t make a move to take it from my grasp. Her impossible faith in me was almost overwhelming.</p><p>Love was not something I completely believed in. But to show desire was to be completely and utterly vulnerable.</p><p>Nothing was more dangerous than a want.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hehe, I looked at my 5+ danvich wips and said you know what? I do not see them. Also, this is based on the Korean production of Rebecca (as all my fics are LMAO) so yes, Mrs Danvers does cry and it's not out of character for her to do so hence why I'm not gonna tag this as ooc. Also bonus points if you get that reference to Bae Gang Hee, if you do then you already know ;))</p></blockquote></div></div>
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